"I want the perfect roommate." It's an easy thing to say, but when it comes to searching for that person who meets all your needs and requirements, do they exist?
You have every right to enjoy yourself in your "home", but so does your roommate. Conflict happens when your idea about what enjoyment consists of doesn't coincide with theirs. In the next couple days, we'll give you a checklist of things to keep in mind as you search for your perfect roommate.
You can find a roommate in a rushed or ill-informed way, and hope you'd stumbled upon the right one by chance, or you can avoid the need to pack your stuff and/or look for a new roommate frequently by being more clever about it upfront. Find a roommate with whom you share some degree of lifestyle compatibility. Opposites may attract in some romantic situations, but a lack of lifestyle compatibility is only a recipe for disaster in a roommate situation.
Roommate Realism - Be realistic in that no roommate situation is going to be perfect, a few conflicts will arise. On the other hand, some things are going to be non-negotiable for you if you plan on living a certain lifestyle. Do NOT compromise anything you know is important to you, but DO compromise on the stuff that isn't.
Friends Becoming Roommates - Unfortunately, one major tidbit of advice we'd care to share is that the qualities you might find important or desirable in a fun friend may NOT be the same ones you ultimately will require in a roommate. Friendships have been destroyed over a failure to recognize this at the outset. You may party like a Wild Thing with your friends on the weekends or during the week away from home, but require your homebase to be a more peaceful sanctuary when you actually are there. That same friend you thought was such a riot during your last pubcrawl you may find less hysterical if he/she brings the party home on a night you were trying to study or get to sleep early. Or, conversely, if you want to whimsically bring home whoever/whenever, a roommate who regularly leads a more conservative lifestyle is going to cramp yours. The best roommate relationships are primarily structured as roommate relationships.
Conflict Resolution Skills - One of the most important questions to ask when looking for a roommate . . . what happened the last few times they had an interpersonal conflict . . . what they did, what they said, how that worked out?? See, thing is, in any interpersonal situation (including roommates), given enough time, conflicts will arise.
Throw Stereotypes out the window - As almost anyone who has had multiple and demographically diverse roommates will tell you, not all women are tidy, and not all young men are loud. Or vice versa. If what you want is clean and quiet, ask about those things specifically. If you think picking someone on the basis of age or gender or some other demographic detail is necessarily going to guarantee any particular roommate-related adjective for you by default, you're likely in for a rude awakening.
Credit - Some may request a credit report on any new roommate. If you want to be the early bird that gets the worm and plan to look at a lot of places, requesting one for yourself in advance could put you at the head of the pack for a choice situation. If it's good, it will be an interpersonal selling point, perhaps helping you get in good with the landlord if that's required as well. If there are negatives on your report, be prepared to explain the what and why.
"Morality" and your Roommate - It's best to find a roommate that is somewhat similar to yourself on those issues by sharing before moving in together. Get it out in the open before you discover it with horror after signing a lease and moving your stuff.
How Many Bedrooms per Roommate? - Sharing a bedroom with your roommate is really NOT best. Yes, you'd save even more money. But the downside is substantial, that being you will have nowhere in the dwelling to go that's all for you and you alone.
There are more things that you should add to your checklist when searching for your perfect roommate. We'll continue this list later this week :)
No comments:
Post a Comment